Marc vs. Wild

Marc vs. Wild

Week 1 of “official” training is complete. To recap: I ate huge amounts at a BBQ sat on the beach, drank and sang karaoke. Some week of training....well don’t worry b/c I actually got all of my runs in!

Ok so call me Bear Grylls Lessner. I have managed to whittle shoes out of beach wood, climb a 50 ft tree with my bare hands to plot my route out in Central Park and outrun the devilish horses at 59th street. It was “unbelievably very very dangerous.” Many of you might be saying…what in the world are you speaking of Marc? Well tune into the discovery channel, pretty much any day at any hour and watch the greatest show on earth…Man vs. Wild. Then you will understand.

But as usual I digress. This week I was spotted by a fan running in Central Park with Short Shorts. But b/c the world is aware of the shorts shorts via this amazing blog, I was not embarrassed.

For those fellow runners, walkers or Central Park strollers, I feel for you. The horses have corrupted our paths. They have soiled our journey. And they have made breathing quite difficult as you loop around the southern edge of the park. Now I have been to the far ends of the Earth, I have slept in the desert, rode elephants, jumped off mountains, swam with killer penguins, walked with lions….I have seen the Berlin wall be knocked down…but nothing in my training or journeys have led me to the stale pungent odor of hot horse “crap” brewing in the sun. My olfactory’s are in pain…and that is not a normal running injury. I contacted my coach and described the burning sensation felt in my nostrils as I loop past these horses and unfortunately they were perplexed on a treatment for what they coined “Runner’s Olifactoritous.” I call on you to help me overcome this horrendous beast and urge you to come down to the anti horse feces rally being held this Sunday in front of Trump Plaza.

Honestly – when we were rolling in Africa and there were elephant droppings (more like tree trunks) everywhere, I coped. This is a new breed and many believe is the marc’s kryptonite. But as it goes, I will survive and channel that stench as motivation. Rocky climbed the stairs, Ghengis Kahn defeated millions, William Wallace invaded London, General Maximus Decimus Meridius dominated the Coliseum and I will overcome the horrific brown mile at southern central park!!

In other news, this blog has been cited and received awards on dontbooarod.blogspot.com. Your continued support is amazing!